May 8, 2016. The day my heart broke and my life changed forever. I had to make the hardest decision of my life - to give permission for life support to be disconnected from my forty-three year old son. He had been battling cancer for five months with success but after his final chemo, he contracted MRSA and it went into sepsis. His body was attacking itself and his organs were shutting down. I had prayed fervently for a miracle but this time God's answer was to take him home.
Two years before Bill was in critical condition and on a ventilator. Doctors were not hopeful. But he was healed to their surprise and for the next fourteen months, he became healthier and stronger month by month. Then in January 2016, was diagnosed with Nonhodgkins Lymphoma. The doctor was very optimistic about outcome.
Why were we given a miracle two years before and not this time? I don't have the answer to that, but one thing I do know is that God is good all the time. We won't always have an answer but we will always have the promise of his goodness and faithfulness. We will always have the hope of seeing our loved ones again in the future. One night as I was grieving Bill's absence, He showed me that my time with Bill on earth was short compared to the time I would be with Bill in eternity!!
I hope to continue blogging in the future about what the Lord has shown me in my journey of grieving with hope.